Friday, October 24, 2014

Censorship is alive and well in the book world

I discovered, when I published "Sold!" that there were limits to what you can show on the covers of books.  Smashwords, for example, doesn't allow butt cracks to be shown on the cover of a book.  Imagine that.

Well, get this, dear readers:  neither Smashwords nor Amazon will allow naked dolls to be shown, hence the cover for the next George and Mike book had to be modified.

Here's the way I wanted it to look:

Unfortunately, Mrs. Grundy and company won't allow either mammary glands or crotches, even if they're plastic.

As a result, the book cover now looks like this:

And the world is now safe from the horrors of nudity.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Truer Words Were Never Displayed

Interesting View

New Novel available

Miss Lucy is back in this new novel by Antonio.

The Miss Lucy Case Files #1 -

 Miss Lucy and

 the Pussy Brigade

Miss Lucy dreaded training new agents in the field, more than almost anything else she had to do for the organization. This mission had already started off badly due to the fact she was retraining agent Buck Taggerty—or ‘the fool’ as she liked to call him. As handsome as the man was, he tended to do some fairly foolish things. Without a doubt, he was good at handling weapons and could be handy in a pinch, but Miss Lucy still cringed at the thought of dealing with him. The team was supposed to be working a simple retrieval case involving one little pussycat statue, but things went crazy to a slapstick comedy level. As serious as the case was, it would become legendary among the organization’s members for its comedic qualities. It soon became a rite of passage for new agents to read Miss Lucy’s account of the case without cracking a smile—none ever succeeded. There are even some people in the organization who enjoy reading about how romance bloomed on the case when Buck Taggerty met the love of his life.

Any thoughts Miss Lucy might’ve had that the two new agents-in-training might make up for Buck’s lack of skills were dashed when she met them. Leticia, her boss, had told her she’d be sending two burlesque showgirls to help on the case, so Miss Lucy thought she’d braced herself for every possibility. Upon meeting Ebony and Ivory, Miss Lucy realized she hadn’t prepared for ‘every possibility’. And Just when things couldn’t possibly get any stranger…they did.
The mission went on record as the zaniest, most hilarious case of Miss Lucy’s entire career. Her team went undercover at a burlesque theater in central Florida owned by a showgirl and her wheelchair-ridden, significantly older husband. The theater was located next to a retirement community filled with rather unique citizens. All of the crazy rumors regarding what may or may not have happened in the nursing home between the patients and some of the team members was finally confirmed in the case files; after said team members were assured immunity from any sort of prosecution. These case files also confirm the almost unbelievable supernatural aspects of the mission.

If anyone within the organization doubted the cats’ roles in what occurred during that mission, the file removes all doubt. The origins of the mysterious pussy brigade are also revealed in full detail. Often spoken about in whispers behind shadows, the full account of what transpired between Miss Lucy and the pussy brigade is spelled out in details even the greenest of recruits to the organization can understand. Miss Lucy had trained agents before, but this is the account of her first training mission under the new directive.

Monday, October 20, 2014

Six Months Without

We have now gone six months without television, and life is much the better for it. 

My partner likes to watch old movies while he works, but I prefer either silence, or Bach or Mozart.

In fact the TV in my workroom hasn't been turned on in three or four weeks.  At least not until last night.  I'd spent a lot of time working in the yard, and was too tired to write or even read.  So, I got out The Closer - I have all seven seasons on DVD - and watched the Pilot and the first two episodes.

Even though I'd seen them a couple of years ago, I was once again struck by the superb writing in this show.  As I recall, the writing was consistently good through all seven seasons.

When Kyra Sedgwick decided to call it quits after seven season, the show continued with a new name and the same cast.  Unfortunately, moving Brenda Leigh Johnson's nemesis Captain Raydor into the spot in charge of the team just didn't work.  Without Sedgwick's character to bounce off of, the show fell flat.  I watched a few episodes while we still had cable, but gave up on it.

My hat is off to an actress and production team who can pull off a consistently great show for seven seasons.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

The latest Avondale Story is now available

Sleuth, LLC:  Bring Out Your Dead

is now available on Smashwords.Com

Telepathic private investigator Quentin Q. Quasar and his partner Nate Braddock are back. They accidentally stumble on a series of kidnapping/murders, and begin to investigate. Eventually, the kidnappers snatch a young man from an Interstate rest area, and Quentin and Nate hear his telepathic cry for help. Armed with that information, they contact their friend George Martin at the sheriff’s office, and manage to catch the kidnappers before they’ve killed the victim. The intended victim was on his way to Orlando to join his boyfriend—also a telepath—who’d recently moved there to take a job.

Meanwhile, Nate’s grandparents fly into Jacksonville from Chattanooga, so Quentin and Nate can drive them to a hospital in Ocala. Nate’s mother has been in a state prison for women located near Ocala, and has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. At the end of a series of hospital visits they encounter and capture the leader of the cult that Nate’s mother and stepfather belonged to. The cult leader and his wife, both of whom had jumped bail before their trials, had just administered poison to Nate’s mother, to keep her from making any sort of deathbed confession about the cult and its activities.

Friday, October 10, 2014

Letter from a British housewife to a Newspaper

Thought you might like to read this letter to the editor of a British national newspaper. Ever notice how some people just seem to know how to write a letter? Here is a woman who should run for Prime Minister of England!

Written by a British housewife to her daily newspaper:

'Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we? Was it or was it not started by Islamic people who brought it to our shores in July 2002, and in New York Sept 11, 2001 and have continually threatened to do so since?

Were people from all over the world, not brutally murdered that day in Washington, and in downtown Manhattan , and in a field in Pennsylvania ?

Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible, burning or crushing death that day, or didn't they?

And I'm supposed to care that a few Taliban were claiming to be tortured by a justice system of the nation they come from and are fighting against in a brutal insurgency.

I'll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start caring about the Holy Bible, the mere belief of which is a crime punishable by beheading in Afghanistan.

I'll care when these thugs tell the world they are sorry for hacking off Nick Berg's head while Berg screamed through his gurgling slashed throat.

I'll care when the cowardly so-called 'insurgents' in Afghanistan come out and fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by hiding in mosques and behind women and children.

I'll care when the mindless zealots who blow themselves up in search of Nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their suicide bombs.

I'll care when the British media stops pretending that their freedom of speech on stories is more important than the lives of the soldiers on the ground or their families waiting at home to hear about them when something happens.

In the meantime, when I hear a story about a British soldier roughing up an Insurgent terrorist to obtain information, know this:

I don't care.

When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told not to move because he might be booby-trapped, you can take this to the bank:

I don't care.

When I hear that a prisoner - who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat, and 'fed special food' that is paid for by my taxes - is complaining that his holy book is being 'mishandled,' you can absolutely believe in your heart of hearts:

I don't care.

And oh, by the way, I've noticed that sometimes it's spelled 'Koran' and other times 'Quran..' Well, believe me!! you guessed it ............. I don't care!!

If you agree with this viewpoint, pass this on to all your E-mail friends. Sooner or later, it'll get to the people responsible for this ridiculous behavior!

If you don't agree, then by all means hit the delete button. Should you choose the latter, then please don't complain when more atrocities committed by radical Muslims happen here in our great country! And may I add:

'Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. Our soldiers don't have that problem.'

I have another quote that I would like to add, AND......... I hope you forward all this. Only six defining forces have ever offered to die for you:

1. Jesus Christ

2. The British Soldier.

3. The Canadian Soldier.

4. The US Soldier

5. The New Zealand Soldier, and

6. The Australian Soldier

One died for your soul, the other 5 for your freedom.

Sunday, October 5, 2014

People will buy anything

Massage in the locker room

Rainbow Book Awards Finalists Announced

This just in:

Bottoms Away (Vol 3 of About a Bottoms) is among the finalists in the Rainbow Book Awards.

Saturday, October 4, 2014

Rainbow Awards Honorable Mention

I've just been notified that Buzz  Bets Badly, But Begets Bliss has won an Honorable Mention in the Rainbow Book Awards.

What this means is that's one judge has given the book 36 out of 40 points.  Whether or not it will be one of the semi-finalists.

Friday, October 3, 2014